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Title: What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is A Giant Green Rage Monster
Pairing: Tony/Bruce (background Tony/Pepper; i.e. consensual open relationship)
Rating: NC-17
Additional info: Romance, fluff, masturbation, handjobs, mild medical aspect, so much cuddling, somewhat cracky premise treated seriously, did I mention all the cuddling, my attempts at science
A/N: Written for the prompt: “Bruce still can't figure out how to have sex without Hulking out. After a few mishaps, Bruce refuses to do anything with him, and Tony gets really creative. To the science! For when your boyfriend is a rage monster". I… yeah. I sincerely apologize to anyone who actually knows how to science. (Also, I wrote a good bit of this like two years ago, and only finally completed it now, haha, whoooops; so the writing quality kind of definitely varies a bit).
Summary: He trails off, but it’s more than enough for Tony. It’s enough that Bruce looks just as frustrated as Tony feels. It’s enough to know that it’s not just Tony who’s desperate to make this happen – and when Bruce takes another step forward, still looking all manners of pissed off with himself, Tony can’t be bothered to care about how much of a sap he’s being. Curls his hands into the front of Bruce’s shirt – he’s fully dressed again, of course, in one of those criminally attractive fancy outfits that he’s so fond of – and tugs him in until Bruce’s head is resting against his shoulder, and his hands are tight on Tony’s back, warm through the thin material of his tank top.

Part One

- - -

“Okay, but seriously, you’ve really gotta see this.”


It’s not exactly an eloquent response, but Tony can hardly blame Bruce for that, seeing as Tony’s the one waking him up at five o’clock in the morning. Kneels down on the bed just as Bruce’s head appears from under the covers – his hair everywhere and his expression one of unimpressed sleepiness, and, ugh, Tony actually can’t handle how cute that is – and then shoves the papers at him. Watches at Bruce glares at him for a moment before fumbling for his glasses and taking the papers from Tony, blinking blearily as he starts to read, and then frowning as it seems to sink in. Frowning, yes, but in a way that doesn’t necessarily look upset; and Tony can’t help but grin.

“Yeah, that’s right. I might not have anything else to compare – pretty sure if I’d asked you to pee in a cup while you were all big and green, you’d have probably put a dent in my armour – but, heart-rate wise, at least – dude, when you hulk out, your pulse is, like – sky high. Scary high, honestly. Nothing even close to orgasm heart rate. And, granted, every orgasm’s different, but –”

“Tony –”

“– there is no way that being in bed with me can get your pulse up to Hulk levels. I mean, sure, I may be a sex god, and all, but –”

Tony –”

“Cortisol levels, Bruce. I think that’s the key. Cause you know what raises cortisol, other than anger? Fear. Anxiety. And every time I touch you, you freak out like the world is about to end.”

For a moment, then, Bruce just stares at the charts in his hands, two radically different heart-rates put next to each other. Then, he raises his eyes, and – he still doesn’t necessarily look pleased, for all that Tony is doing cartwheels and handstands inside, because, holy shit, this might actually work.

“So you’re saying that – that, both mentally and physiologically –”
“Exactly. What I’m saying is that worrying about losing control is exactly what’s actually making you lose it, alright? And in a very real, very physiological sense, because you’re freaking yourself out. On a chemical level. That if we could get the – well, the anxiety bit sorted out –”


“I – well, sure, if you wanted. But, before that – I was thinking jut start with the realization that, if we can get you to start feeling less nervous about all this, then then chances of you hurting me pretty much disappear, so –”

“You can’t know that for sure.”

“I can be pretty darn sure.”

Tony –”

“It makes sense, though. Actual, physiological sense. You can’t tell me it doesn’t, right?”

For a moment, Bruce goes back to staring down at the papers – and then he nods, slowly, and looks back up at Tony. Still looks like he wants to make a run for it, but, somehow, with a little bit of hope mixed in.

“You really think –”

Yes. So. As soon as you feeling like maybe giving it a go, how about we partake in some snuggling, some making out, maybe something a bit more r-rated, if we’re both really feeling it –”

“Tony –”

“But, regardless of any sexy times, I’d definitely vote for possibly doing some clothes optional snuggling, if you wanna give that a go, too, so – that maybe sound like a plan?”

Bruce makes a noise that sounds a little strangled, his skin flushing beautifully, and Tony just barely stops himself from crossing his fingers – knows that Bruce won’t hesitate to tell him if he needs more time, and hopes that it won’t be the case – and then Bruce nods, hesitantly, and Tony knows he’s grinning like a cat, but he can’t help himself. Can’t stop the way it feels like he’s flying, because – this might actually work, and Tony’s so happy, suddenly, that it nearly hurts.

“Awesome! Okay, so –”


And – Tony stops. Knows he’s gaping, and makes himself shut his mouth.


Yeah, he can do that. And he’s not sure, suddenly, if he’s more nervous or turned-on.

“I – yeah. Tonight totally works, if you want to –”

“I want to.”

Bruce is doing that thing, again, where he looks determined and embarrassed at the same time; and it’s so cute that Tony has to kiss him, leaning against him until they’re just kind of breathing against each other, arms wrapped around each other and their hearts slamming in between them.

- - -

Later that night, Tony lights candles, and everything. Bruce looks at him a little funny.

“Who are you and what have you done with Tony?”

“Maybe I’d just like to see you by candlelight.”

He gets another unimpressed look for that, but Bruce steps closer to the bed, at least. Tony swallows, and puts his hands on his shoulders. Keep them light when Bruce tenses up, then starts kneading at his stupidly tight muscles until Bruce’s eyes close; and then Tony nudges him slightly.

“Lie down for me?”

“I –”

“And, um. On your side?”

“Tony –”

“Just trust me, okay, cause –”

“I still – I don’t think this is going to work.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a few more ideas, so. That bed’s our friend.”

He gets a snort for that, but Bruce does lie down, still dressed. Curls onto his side, his head tucked against the pillow; and Tony takes a deep breath as he – okay, this is maybe a wee bit out of his comfort zone; but, fuck it, he’s going to do it anyway. And why should he even care, anyway. It’s not like Bruce is going to judge him for it. Takes a breath – his chest’s aching, a bit, and his lungs feel a little tight – and then just lies down behind Bruce and presses up against him.

Chest against his back, ass to his crotch, and his face buried between Bruce’s shoulders.

Feels Bruce go very, very still; and gives it a moment before he slides an arm over and finds Bruce’s hand. Wraps their fingers together and presses his face a bit harder against Bruce’s back.

He’s pretty sure he’s blushing like an idiot, at this point.


And – that’s it, apparently. Quiet, and a little shaky; and Tony – carefully – tightens his grip.

“Hush. Just let me cuddle you.”

That gets a noise that sounds a bit strangled; and then Bruce is laughing, actually laughing; sounding absolutely fucking breathless but still fucking laughing; and Tony grins against him.

They should do this more often.

“I say something funny?”

“You – you’re unbelievable –”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Tony –”

“I’m serious. You’re rather fucking stellar, you know.”

“Stellar, huh.”

And – he’s still laughing, a bit, his body shaking against Tony’s; and Tony feels himself grin a bit harder, even as he – carefully, slowly – presses his free hand against Bruce’s stomach. Doesn’t even try to get anywhere near under his clothes. Just keeps his hand there, and nudges up, just a bit, until he can press his face against the back of Bruce’s neck, and – that’s it, for now.

Now, they just need to lie here for a bit, until Bruce is as relaxed as Tony’s gonna get him.

It doesn’t take long, surprisingly.

Tony doesn’t bother counting time his head, but he can feel it as Bruce’s laughs slowly die down, and he just kind of… melts, a bit, letting himself relax against Tony. Tony swallows. They – yeah, they definitely need to do this more often; and Tony takes a breath against Bruce’s neck, and keeps his movements gentle as he slowly starts circling his fingers against Bruce’s stomach. Feels Bruce suck in a breath when Tony – carefully – slides a hand down to curl it over his hip.


“Did you wanna, um, do anything else?”

Christ, he sounds like an unsure teenager, suddenly. Can practically feel his teeth grind.

“I mean, if not, of course we can totally just keep snuggling it up –”

“No, I – I want to.”

It’s soft, but sounds sincere. Tony, deliberately, takes a steadying breath.

Keep it together. He has a goal here. He needs to keep it together, for both of them.

“I-I – right. So, uh, in that case, I’ve got a favour to ask of you, then.”

“I –”

“My suit is literally right under this bed. I’ve got my magical summoning bracelet on.”

“Tony –”

“You’re not a danger to me, Bruce. You won’t be able to hurt me.”

“But –”

“Trust me? Please? Or – or try, at least? I’ve – I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t sure I was safe.”

He doesn’t actually say what they both damn well know for sure – that he’s not prioritizing his safety for himself; that this is more about keeping Bruce safe from his fear of hurting the people he cares about – but, either way, the result was always going to be the same. Tony’s got an out.

And maybe Bruce gets that; because Tony can feel him relax, again, little by little.

It’s enough to make him suck in a deep breath. Feels heat swoop low and shaky with him as Bruce’s ass presses back a little bit more, right up against Tony. Tony grits his teeth together.

On target. He needs to stay on target. He has a very specific goal here.

“So, a-about that favour.”

“I –”

“Would you will be willing to get yourself off? Just like this. Right here, in my arms, with –”

“Tony –”

“I’ll keep my hands to myself. No surprises. This is your show. All on your own terms.”

He’s barely breathing, any more. Can feel the way Bruce has gone perfectly still.

Lets them hang like that for a couple of painful seconds before he presses his face just the tiniest bit harder against the back of Bruce’s neck, not even daring to go for a gentle kiss.

“If – only if you want to, of course. I just thought – it seems like the most sensible lead-in to – to anything else we might eventually end up doing, since, um, it’s something you already do. And I could just – be here, for it, but – but if you want to try something else, or need time to think, or –”

Bruce doesn’t shut him up with words.

Shuts him up by raising Tony’s hand up to his mouth and pressing his lips against his knuckles.

Tony’s not sure he’s ever blushed this badly in his life.

“I, um… okay, or, we can do knuckle kissing, too, I’m totally onboard with some knuckle kissing –”

“I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself.”

It takes a second.

Then, the words process; and Tony feels something flip over in his stomach.


Yeah, yeah he can do that. If that’s what Bruce wants – if Bruce thinks it’ll work; if he believes Tony’s theories enough to give it a try – then, yeah. Tony can totally do this.

“You’re sure?”

He sounds like the sappiest dork on the planet, but it doesn’t matter. Not when he’s got Bruce melting against him like this. And Bruce nods, before he seems to hesitate, for a second; and then he turns in Tony’s arms, and presses his face into his neck, which – alright. Front-to-front, then. That can definitely work. And Tony’s totally going to take this slow. Starts by letting his hands start to drift across Bruce’s body, barely brushing against him, still through his clothes; but Bruce is already trying to squirm closer, and Tony swallows when he feels him smile against his neck.

“I’m okay, Tony. Really.”

“Um – okay, but, ten minutes ago you were still ready to bolt –”

“You’ve convinced me.”

“I – really? I mean, not that I’m not happy, because I am, but –”

“Your theory makes sense. Also, you’re, um, really comfortable, right now, so.”

His voice gets barely audible, towards the end; and Tony gives himself a second to breathe before he – carefully – slides a hand down in between them, pressing it against Bruce’s stomach.

“So, you’re saying I wooed you with science and cuddles, then?”

He gets a breathless little laugh, for that – enough to make Tony’s sentimental heart do something stupid – before Bruce nods against his neck and goes back to just breathing there; and Tony watches for any sign of hesitation as he slides his fingers along the bottom of Bruce’s shirt. Just barely dips in to brush against his stomach, getting a sharp little inhale in response. It doesn’t sound like a bad thing. Not with the way he can feel Bruce trying to squirm a bit closer.

“Clothes on or off?”

Oh, lord, he sounds like a stupid affectionate, lust-drunk idiot.

“Um. I – on. Just like this. Can we – just like this?”

Of course, Bruce sounds just about as bad, so Tony’s probably in the clear, here. And he takes a deep breath as he reaches just long enough to pull the lube out of his own pants pocket – thank fuck he’d had the foresight to put it somewhere within reach – before he goes back to what he was doing. Presses a kiss to the side of Bruce’s face, even as he gets a hand back between them.

“Yeah. Just like this sounds good to me, too.”

Bruce’s response is another nod, along with the way he tries to press closer; and it’s enough to get Tony moving, again. Enough to get his hand working on Bruce’s pants buttons and zipper – thank fuck Tony can do this onehanded – while he busies his mouth with pressing kisses into Bruce’s hair – it’s sentimental, so sentimental, but it’s the only thing Tony can reach; and he’s pretty sure it’s working for Bruce, too, with the happy little sound he makes – and then he’s got Bruce’s pants down just far enough, and he breaks the momentum long enough to get lube on his fingers. Gives it a second to warm up, and then wraps his fingers around Bruce, finding him already hard and heavy in his palm, and – the world doesn’t end. All that happens is that Bruce sucks in a breath, and then groans, barely audible, against Tony’s neck; and Tony doesn’t know whether he’s more turned-on or happy, suddenly. Just knows that he’s smiling into Bruce’s hair.

Shit. As if it was this obvious all along.

Though – maybe it’s not obvious, at all. Bruce trusts him. There’s nothing obvious about that.

That, in fact, is incredible.

But Tony needs to not think about that now. Right now, he needs to focus on Bruce.

And he makes sure his free hand is never idle as he slowly pulls Bruce higher. Does his best to not surprise him with anything – keeps it slow, whether he’s rubbing his fingers against Bruce’s back, or dragging a thumb against his nipple, through his shirt – and keeps the hand on his dick as steady as he can. Doesn’t know what Bruce likes, but – what Tony’s doing – just doing whatever the hell feels good for him – seems to be working for Bruce, too; because he’s panting, now. Panting against Tony’s shoulder, and holding on tight to him; and Tony’s not sure how long they stay like that. Presses kisses to wherever he can reach, and eventually finds a spot on Bruce’s hip that makes him squirm, even through his pants. Ends up rubbing his thumb in gentle circles there, even as he quickens his hand around Bruce’s dick, listening for every hitch in his breathing, and every little noise he makes; and when Bruce finally spills all over Tony’s hand, it’s with a quiet little groan, his fingers going almost painfully tight against Tony; and Tony strokes him through it, his heart beating so hard he can barely breathe. Eventually stills, completely, and wipes his hand against his own shirt – it’s already a mess, anyway – and then just kind of holds onto Bruce until he stirs enough to pull himself out of Tony’s shoulder and kiss him.

Kisses him so sweetly Tony can barely deal with it, and then pulls back to stare at Tony with the dorkiest smile ever; and Tony can’t help but grin, too. Hears himself laugh, and then Bruce tugs him in close, again, and they end up just snickering like a couple of idiots, pressed together. Tony’s still aching in his own pants, but – that can wait. That’s not at all important, right now.

Right now, he’s got Bruce loose-limbed and happy in his arms, and Tony’s so happy it hurts.

- - -

The next few weeks are a mixture of hilarious, wonderful, and exhausting.

Tony and Bruce pretty much make up for lost time, over just about every surface in the tower. Somehow manage to fit several months’ worth of sex into a very short period, and end up getting absolutely nothing else done. Every single project that either of them had been working on goes nowhere. Even when they start out working in the lab - even when they at least try to get some work done - they still inevitably end up with their clothes off.

It’s wonderful. Absoluutely wonderful. And the way Pepper looks supremely pleased for them is wonderful, too, which – god, Tony’s got the two greatest partners on the planet, and that’s something he’s always going to be grateful for.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 15th, 2015 10:06 am (UTC)
Sep. 15th, 2015 10:08 am (UTC)
Eeeeee, aw, really? Yay, thank you! :D I've honestly been chipping away at this for actual literal years, haha, and I hardly had any idea any more if it was even any good... ahhhh, thank you, darling. You just made my entire week. So glad you enjoyed this. :) ♥
Sep. 15th, 2015 10:35 am (UTC)
It was so sweet and fluffy and cute and I cooed over this all the way from beginning to the end!
Sep. 15th, 2015 10:43 am (UTC)
Ahhhh, yay, I can't stop grinning. Bless your heart. I'm so glad to hear that. Thank you. :D
Sep. 15th, 2015 10:25 pm (UTC)

holy shit babe HOLY SHIT

these dorks are going to KILL ME. I'm doing this whole face clutching thing thinking about Tony just wanting to just be an attentive as fuck lover and Bruce being psyched out and embarrassed but then going for it and god you know EVERYONE is walking in on them and they're not even trying to hide it and Pepper just being fond as fuck and making sure to ask JARVIS where it is and isn't safe to walk

basically: <3<3<3<3<3
Sep. 18th, 2015 05:39 am (UTC)
Ahhhh, I'm so glad you liked this, oh my gosh. I've literally just been chipping away at it forever and I could barely even tell if i was good anymore haha so I'm very, very glad to hear that. ♥

I'm doing this whole face clutching thing thinking about Tony just wanting to just be an attentive as fuck lover and Bruce being psyched out and embarrassed but then going for it

Eeeeeee yay. :D

and god you know EVERYONE is walking in on them and they're not even trying to hide it and Pepper just being fond as fuck and making sure to ask JARVIS where it is and isn't safe to walk

Ahahaha, yup, that about sums it up. :P

basically: <3<3<3<3<3

Eeeee, you're the best. Thanks, m'dear. So glad you liked this. ♥
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )